Waiting for Your Heart
by Bao Blossom
Summary: Sango and Miroku's points of view on several events that they've lived together and how those events have formed the "relationship" they have now... *finished*
1. Sango

I was actually going to make this story a one shot... ¬¬ HA! 

Well a few things you should know first. Of these so called memories, not one is from the actual series, except one in the second chapter -_-' *cough cough* anywho…

My first Inu-Yasha fic dedicated to my favorite couple from the series and current obsession. Where both at the same time reflect on their time together and blah blah, you've already read the summary…. *coughs again* um the things between the squiggly lines are memories (~~~)

Disclaimer: ¬¬ come on now, it's not all that pleasant to say…!  "Oh yes… I forgot I'm not the very rich, creative, wonderful, talented and semi-God who created Inu-Yasha…." ¬¬'

T-T *sobs*

***

**"Oyasumi nasai Sango-chan…" ****Kagome said from her sleeping bag**

**I smiled back watching her cuddle into her sleeping bag with Shippou over her chest. It didn't take long for either of them to get to sleep. With the soft clatter of the starting rain outside, I hoped there wasn't going to be thunder tonight. A bit of envy washed over me, wishing I had such few preoccupation's at night. Knowing Kagome was constantly in the same danger as I, also with a life of her own to lead of course, but she never seemed to let anything get to her, that was, anything that didn't involve Inu-Yasha.**

**I turned to see him just having stood up and now making his way to the door, probably to go sleep on the roof.**

**"It's starting to rain Inu-Yasha…" I said to his back**

**"I'll sleep on the porch."**

**"Oh, ok… Oyasumi nasai…" I called out to his back, he mumbled something I took as his answer. **

**Some couple they made, both arrogant, proud and stubborn as hell. I smiled, Nothing seemed to get to Kagome as long as that Hanyou was ok. And Inu-Yasha was as fine, so Kagome was as well... unlike me. I looked over to the closed door and then down to where I had laid the supplies and ordered them out. **

**That was one reason I always had trouble going to sleep at night, especially after something like this had just happened. Why did that Houshi have to be so damn stupid? I looked up to the door again, long since having lost my patience. I told him to come back early. I felt a bit of worry edge into my mind. A very normal feeling whenever I was thinking of him. The rain might get heavier, what if he caught a cold? **

**Kirara who was cuddled up beside me rubbed her head against my leg, a sign that she wanted attention. Placing a soft hand down over her ears I stroked her head and pushed my hand down her back. She would always make me smile as I knew I always had her company. Who would have thought she would become the only living being I could relay on. It wasn't as if I didn't trust my friends, I would lay down my life for any of them, unfortunately for me, they would as well, and I needed no more deaths in my life for now. **

**Stroking Kirara's back I noticed her ears twitch and move towards the door. I looked up expectantly and hopefully, barely hearing footsteps through the wooden door and over the songs of crickets and other nocturnal animals, along with the soft patter of raindrops on the roof. The door slid open and unintentionally I let out a secret sigh as a chilly breeze from the rain came in. Mou... could he be any later? He hadn't noticed me, as he tried his best to close the door as quietly as he could with one hand, staff and all. After it was shut he turned to find me sitting on the floor looking up expectantly him. **

**"Oh... I'm sorry, did I wake you."**

**Mou! He forgot? I raised an eyebrow at him. "I haven't gone to bed yet, because I was waiting for you to return."**

**"Hontou ne?" As I suspected, his lips pulled up into that familiar smirk of his. I sighed to myself not really in the mood for his dumb comments, so I spoke before he could.**

**"Houshi-sama I told you today while we were eating it was time again. It's been three days…" I looked down at the supplies by my lap then back up at him. He followed my gaze and his smirk died down. **

**"Oh, gomen, I forgot, but you didn't have to stay up and wait for me, we could have done it tomorrow." **

**"Iya... I told you today and it has to be done today... besides I stayed up any how. Come and sit down." **

It was better to get this over with, I hated having to do this and he knew it, but I couldn't let anyone else do it, as it was my responsibility in a way. Arranging the supplies I watched as he came over and sat down, his back to me. He lay his staff by his side and then pulled his violet bow, undoing the knot. I took the drape off and waited for him to loosen his robes. He groaned quietly as he moved his shoulders to loosen it. Taking the neck of the dark fabric, as gently as I could, I pulled it down, watching him take his arms out of the sleeves, revealing the lean muscles of his back and shoulders. As soon as he did this and settled back still, came the reason why I hated doing this so much. 

**Guilt. I had seen his back before, a bit shocked the first time I did so, none the less I still couldn't shake off the feeling of sorrow whenever I saw him. All over, from his neck down to the hollow of his back, each a sign of pain and suffering from some point of his life, some really old and fading, others too recent and still pink, were scars. I looked over to his right shoulder, where over it, and a section of his back, were bandages, stained a pale pink color from the wound under them. **

This was the reason I was doing this right now. Because it had been my fault to begin with. My fingers on the small tie of the bandages, I began to fiddle with the knot. Having it un done I loosen them from over his shoulder. He moved his head just a bit to the left. I sighed to myself, and he obviously heard turning his head a little before deciding not to look back at me. I had to remember not to do that when I was doing this. Now he probably thinks he's being a burden to me, as always. 

**He said it to me once. While I was tending to him after a fight with a youkai a while back, I remember it so clearly and wanting to just take him in my arms and give him the smallest sensation of being loved by some one.**

~~~

"I told you to watch out for yourself. 'I'm fine Houshi-sama… I can fight alone Houshi-sama, take care of yourself Houshi-sama', remember any of that…? Mou if you would only listen once in a while maybe you wouldn't get into so much trouble, I understand you were just trying to help but besides the fact that I barely receive help from anyone I told you before that I was fine, and everything would have been if you had just left me alone to fight." I spoke impatiently cleaning an ugly gash on his right arm.

"And if that weren't enough, that youkai almost tore your rosary off, then what would you have done? Not even the effort you put into saving me ne? for me and everyone else to get sucked into it…"

I bit my tongue and felt him tense up under my hands. I had gone too far and I knew it. But I was just mad! Mad at him for not listening to me, and mad at myself for letting this happen to him. But that was no excuse, I had just touched the only subject I had ever known him to be afraid of. I knew it was what he feared the most, and yet I had let it slip. I shut my eyes still contemplating my own stupidity. He didn't say anything for a while, and since I was no longer complaining to him, a very disturbing silence filled the small cabin, but I was too embarrassed to say anything, instead I kept working on the wound. 

"I'm sorry for being your burden."

My eyes widened as I stopped my work on his arm. Not really wanting to, I looked up at him. My face saddened at that forced smile on his lips. He gave a small sigh, and no longer able to look at me, stared down at his lap. Guilt ate me up inside, and I burned with anger at myself.

"Houshi-sama, you're not…" I started, my breath was caught in my throat when he looked up at me and I could do nothing but look into those indigo depths, he had such strange eyes, indigo… I had never seen such a colour. I found myself doing it again, feelings unknown to me welling up inside and pushing to get out. 

"I…" I stopped myself… what was I thinking? No, I couldn't do this… I knew what those feelings were, but I wouldn't let them develop. I promised myself never to feel this way about a person again, especially one I knew I could loose. I bit down the words that would probably link me more to him and stared down at his arm. Then momentarily back up at him. He smiled sadly at me.

"I cause too much trouble, you shouldn't bother… I can finish up myself, it was my fault after all…"

Now to this I would say something, he couldn't bandage himself with one hand. I opened my mouth still a bit edgy from my almost eruption of feelings, when he got up, pulling his arm towards him and gathering the bandages. He didn't say a word as he made his way out of the hut hurriedly, and I did nothing but watch. 

The door slid shut behind him and I was left alone in a room full of silence, with nothing but my troubled thoughts. My brows furrowed and my fist clenched. Why was everything so complicated…? My fist slammed against the floor.

~~~

**Since that incident, every time I had to do this, none of us ever talked. It was one of the strangest times with him beside me, and one he never tried to grope at me, I guess getting injured wasn't something to laugh or joke about. **

**The last bandage peeled off his skin to reveal the deep puncture about the size of a large marble just below his shoulder. I swallowed hard at the guilt rising in me, like almost every time. It should have been me. Beside me was a jar Kagome had brought with her from her time, very effective as an antiseptic but I didn't like to use it on Miroku.**

**But knowing my medicine had run out a few days back I didn't have much of a choice. I dabbed my fingers in the clear ointment and rubbed the wound softly. He fidgeted, but didn't say a word or do much else, I felt the muscles of his back tense at the burn on his skin. **

**Always the same… always. I grit my teeth. With a clean cloth I removed the excessive medicine from his back and took some clean bandages in my hand, unfolding them. He never had any consideration… he was willing to die for me. **

**Why?**

**The worst part about it was, I really didn't even know why, I still don't know what his feelings are for me, and he knows it. But why doesn't he show me if he knows I'm confused? Is it because I won't like the answer? Holding the first piece of bandage in place I started to re wrap the wound. **

**He was afraid… just like me. Afraid to love, and be loved, to loose someone again, he wouldn't love anyone as long as he had that damned hole in his hand. Kagome told me this was the real reason he had never asked me the ridiculous question of whether I wanted to bear his children or not. He didn't want me to be like his mother. I found out she died when she gave birth to him, he had told me that story personally, I gave a bitter smile, another time when I had been stupid enough to not do anything.**

~~~

It happened again, I had that horrible nightmare with Chichi-ue and Kohaku, and as always I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, so I had wandered off out of the forest to the open hills. The night air was warm, it reminded me of _him_. I shook my head, I really should be thinking of more important things than lecherous no good monks. I sighed to myself and leaned back into the damp grass, a flower by my side caught my attention.

I looked at it for the longest time, sure I had seen it somewhere before. I gently pulled it out of the ground and examined it closer in the light of the moon. The gasped. This was… I smiled at the memory, and I remembered for the first time in a very long while… Haha-ue…

"Sango…?"

I sat up to face the voice that had called my name and relaxed seeing the silhouette of the familiar robes "What are you doing here Houshi-sama?" 

"I woke up and you weren't there, I got worried…" he explained

I felt my face burn, I hated it when he did that, it cost me the world to admit I was worried about him, and he said it so easily.

"Gomen… I just couldn't sleep." I explained

Seemingly calmer than when I first heard him, he walked over and sat down beside me. "Doushite?" he asked 

I shrugged "Just another nightmare… but I'm feeling much better out here in the open."

I looked up at him to see the moon reflecting in his eyes and found myself staring again, I blushed. Dammit that was getting harder to avoid.

"What's in your hand?" he asked curiously peering over. 

I looked down to find it gently holding the flower and couldn't help but begin to smile again. I lifted my hand to show it to him proudly. He smiled gently "It's very pretty…"

I looked down at it remembering a familiar face "It's a yellow flower…" I smiled

"Yellow flower?" he asked curiously, "It looks a bit pink to me… maybe I'm going color blind."

 I smiled "Oh it's pink, but it smells yellow." I said offering it to him. He took it with one hand and held it a distance to his nose. 

"I can't smell anything…" he admitted

"You have to smell closer…" I smiled. He pushed it closer to his face, closing his eyes and trying to smell the small flower until it was on his nose. 

He opened his eyes and peered down at the flower, removing it from his nose and then looking up to me. 

"Ne Sango? What _does_ yellow smell like?" he said removing the flower.

I tried uselessly to suppress a giggle at Miroku's face full of confusion. I laughed out right pointing at the monk with a yellow nose. He blinked at me unaware of the trick I had played on him, just like mother used to do to me. 

My laugh died down as I looked back up at him, still with that adorable childish expression of innocence. 

"Kaa-san used to play that trick on me… I still remember, before Kohaku was born." I smiled at him

he smiled knowingly at me and then held up the flower, twisting it gently between his fingers. "What was she like?" he asked

I gave a small sigh and looked up at the starry sky "Sayo… that was her name… She was very beautiful, I used to think she was the prettiest woman in the world, I would say to myself, 'Kami-sama gave me the prettiest angel as a mother.' I loved her very much when she was alive, and I pity Kohaku who never met her."

"I understand how he feels…" 

I looked up at him, to see he was also gazing away into the night. "I never knew the love of a mother either… I asked Chichi-ue once when I was little why I didn't have a mother like everyone else… he didn't know how to answer me and would get mad at himself, questioning as to why he had married a woman he loved. He felt guilty for her death, but I did more… probably because it was me who killed her after all." He finished dryly.   

 I frowned sadly at him and set my hand over his cheek. With my thumb I gently cleaned off the pollen on his nose. He looked at me surprised at my gesture

"I'm sure your mother still loves you as does mine love me, where ever they both are. And I'm sure she would be proud of the son she gave her life to Miro--" I caught myself before anything else came out, and he noticed, my hand lingered at his cheek, and we both stared at each other unaware of what had just happened or what was going to happen next. 

This couldn't be happening, I was about to take my hand from his cheek when his own came over it, holding it gently to his face.

"Did you just…?" he began, I felt his lips move under my thumb as he looked at me in a way I couldn't quite understand, it seemed like… hope? I blinked looking up at him, with that look of wanting, for the first time not in a lecherous way. Miroku… please don't do this… I pleaded seeing him lean towards me. You know we can't… and yet… I closed my eyes, almost able to feel the heat from his skin looming in on mine.

I waited for something that never came, and felt his hand remove mine from his cheek. I opened my eyes, needless to say disappointed. He was looking solemnly down at the grass.

"I can't…" he whispered. 

I knew he was right, but, it didn't feel wrong, so what was…? I pulled my hand from his and got up quickly, I was getting sick of this.

"I understand…" I barely whispered making my way back to camp.

"No you don't…" he called back angrily. I turned to look at him, I didn't mean for him to hear it. "I won't make the same mistake as Chichi-ue…" he said analysing the flower in his hand. 

I looked down at him a bit shocked as to what he had implied by that sentence. He looked up at me expectantly. The night air seemed heavier between us, and I couldn't find anything to say. I turned and left, knowing that tomorrow nothing of this would be mentioned. 

~~~

**I couldn't help but regret the memory, I did most of the time, I picked up the bandages and unfolded them on my lap, I knew them too well, he used them too much… to often. I gave a sad sigh. Of course it wasn't always my fault, stupid monk! Why was he so lecherous, as if that weren't enough I was shy, well, I grew up among men but, not men like him… mou! I blushed at the memory.******

~~~

"Here are the extra towels, oh and watch out for the youkai's" said the inn keeper handing Kagome extra towels and four yukatas

we had gotten lucky in finding a real town, not some ordinary village. Miroku had taken the liberty of getting us an inn as usual, choosing a very classy one with thermal baths and everything. 

"Youkai's?" said Inu-Yasha

The inn keeper nodded absentmindedly "Rodent youkai… they like to steal the visitors clothes… an awful plague around here." He said retreating towards the kitchen

"Rodents? As in… Mice?" said Kagome a blue tinge coming over her face. She moved over behind Inu-Yasha. "I don't like mice."

Miroku smirked "Would you ladies like an escort to the bath house for protection?" he asked hopefully

I jammed my elbow into his ribs as Inu-Yasha gave him a cold glare. He got the idea and slouched off seemingly disappointed with a fake tear in his eye. "I just want the ladies safe…" he cried

"Sou ka?" I asked sarcastically 

Kagome since we arrived to the room had been anxious to go to the bath house, as she said mice didn't like water. I followed my paranoid friend to the bath house, and began to get undressed, knowing it would be better if I bathed in the white yukata they had lent us, as someone might come in to 'make sure we were safe'

I was barely tying the knot in the robes before I heard her scream, almost breaking my eardrums.

"Sangoooooo!!" she yelled and pointed to a spot on the floor next to me

I looked down to see a small creature with big eyes and excessively large feet rummage through my clothes, I was about to shoo it away before it hopped out of the bundle of my clothes… with some of them over it's head… more specifically… my underwear.

"Oi!!" I yelled turning red and lunging at the little demon.

It was quick, I should have brought Kirara to the bath house to sick it. It looked in the direction of the door. My blush deepened giving the rat a cold stare while Kagome was on the other side of the room over a huge boulder whimpering. 

"Don't even…" I warned

As I suspected my wishes were not of his interest and he ran towards the door, I threw myself on the little runt and he jumped out of my grasp. And ran out the door. I blushed a deeper shade of red and scrambled to my feet rushing out of the bath house half naked.

"Come back here you big footed little hentai!" I yelled at the beast chasing it down the hall

People turned to stare but the little rat had my underwear, I really wasn't interested in the other people or even where I was going, although a little voice in my head told me I should stop. I was too mad, somehow this little youkai reminded me of some one… 

It entered a hole in a door to my left and I skidded to a stop, returning to the door I threw it open and ran in. To a rock, my foot jabbed against it and I suddenly felt I was falling forward, I expected to be greeted by hard stone floor, but instead was greeted by water splashing in my face. Lucky I put my hands out in front of me. I sputtered as some got into my mouth and nose trying to cough it up. 

Water… in a closed room, my eye twitched slightly, where was I? I feared the worst, and looking up I felt my blood freeze and my eyes almost jump out of their sockets. 

He looked down at me with curios eyes, holding a wooden bucket over his head, from the looks of it he had just poured it over himself as tiny rivers of water found their way around very sleek crevices of where his muscles and skin met. They flowed from his arms, down to his shoulders and onto his chest. His hair was loose and wet, sticking to his face and neck, was I breathing?

I tried to force my eyes to stay on his face… ok maybe stay over his neck, over the chest, over the chest! No seriously, was I breathing?!

"Hello… how may I help a lovely young lady like yourself?" he said cheerfully looking down at me.

Besides the lack of oxygen in my system and the fact that there was not a drop of blood anywhere on my body but on my face, I felt woozy, why did that stupid houshi have to be so----?!?!? Ok starting to see blurry, guess I should breath now. 

"Oh look…" I heard his voice again

he looked down at the water to retrieve something, my eyes unfortunately had been burned into his skin. He retrieved something and smiled down at me. 

"What a lovely piece of clothing…" he then crouched down and held it up "Is it yours…?" he asked cheerfully

I snapped, I guess all the blood in my head exploded or something… all I remember is the monk being encrusted into a far away wall with various bruises and who knows what else I had done to him, and me with my damn underwear clenched into my fist still red in the face. 

"baka houshi!!" I yelled in the hallway probably redder than a ripe tomato. Pitying the next living being to get in my way.

~~~

**I sighed, me being shy, and him being shameless? Where would that get us? I looked up at his back. Us? What us? Tying the bandages gently I reached down for some gauss as that puncture mark wasn't the only wound he had. Baka Houshi… it was as if he _wanted _to get into trouble, he should have more consideration on himself… on me…**

~~~

Jumping up I flung Hiraikotsu over my shoulder towards the youkai. It barely dodged out of the way in time for my boomerang to slice through it's shoulder. Taking a time out from Inu-Yasha it turned to me and opened it's mouth something shining from inside it 

"Sango move!" Inu-Yasha yelled

I was still falling in mid air! What could I do? I crossed my arms protectively over my chest hoping I'd survive this when something pushed me upwards. I gasped having a pretty good idea of what had happened. The beam of energy, or what ever it was, managed to hit us both anyhow, Miroku's entire right side and my left arm.

"Sango! Miroku!" yelled Kagome from a few feet away. 

I felt the rough impact of the floor against the very same arm that was injured and gave a yelp of pain. Someone rolled over me and we suddenly stopped. Trying my best to endure the pain in my shoulder I got up. He was still holding my back. 

"Houshi-sama!" I called to him, with no response

But he wouldn't let go. Squirming out of his grip I managed to sit up beside him. He was out cold. "Houshi-sama?" I asked taking my only movable hand to his chest.

"Wake up… Houshi-sama." 

was he all right? was he… still alive?

I felt my heart begin to pump again a bit light headed by such a scare, as he winced suddenly. Taking in a few deep breaths, he finally opened his eyes. In the background I heard Inu-Yasha finish off what ever that youkai was.

"Houshi-sama daijoubu ka?" I asked nervously as he sat up against a tree

knowing he must be in great pain he looked up at me and nodded "Un…"

I sighed deeply and suddenly remembered what that idiot had done. My brows crossed and my mouth went into a thin line, I felt my eyes sting. Taking up my right hand I slapped him, his eyes widened in surprise. Then I threw my arms around his neck and tried very hard to suppress the tears in my eyes. I felt him tense under me.

"Baka Houshi…" I somewhat spoke into his ear missing a few syllables because my voice was beginning to crack. 

He was, needless to say, stupefied. Then suddenly my common sense kicked in and I realized what I had just done. My eyes widened slightly. I released him immediately not daring to look up as I didn't want to see his reaction, or want him to see the blush that was spreading on my cheeks. 

Kagome, Inu-Yasha and Shippou had, as always, been watching everything. My face sunk down lower in humiliation and I decided the best, well, the only thing to do right now was to go retrieve Hiraikotsu. I stood up leaving him against the tree looking up curiously at me. Damn my stupid emotions.

~~~

**That had been a while back, when I wasn't really sure of what I felt for the monk. Making it all the more embarrassing and confusing. Unfortunately for me, that hadn't been the last time I had done it, or the first for that matter, but I had never gone so far as to hug him, I guess I just needed to know he was really still there… with me. For the hundredth time since I had started this I sighed. This was tiring me. Not having to heal him, well partially, but everything in general. Always having to suppress my feelings, always telling myself I couldn't do it now. Always an excuse to hold back. it was getting pointless… I was starting not to care anymore…              **

***

well that's it for the first chapter, sorry they're so long ^^' that's why I only made 3 and the third one is really short, so put up with me a little longer if you wanna know what Sango's gonna do!

Oh! A special thanks to Sydney Kyle for letting me use one of his great Oekaki for the bath house scene. It is fabulous! You have to go see it, on Nikkou-sama's Sango and Miroku shrine in the Oekaki section. It just amazing! It's called 'Turn About if Fair Play' that's where I got my inspiration for the comical scene, it's honestly very pretty. Go check it out! and here's his mail if you'd like to leave a comment. 

sydneykyle@hotmail.com the web site is at it is heaven for all S/M fans!


	2. Miroku

As you probably aren't going to read them up here… the A.N will be at the end…

Lady Pyro, I'd be HONORED to be on your site, feel free to post me up there and thank you so much!

***

**I heard her give another sigh as she finished applying the antiseptic from hell. I hadn't encountered anything that stung so much, not all things from the future were beneficial. Yet, I tried to endure it as I knew if I did something to indicate pain she would only worry more, and then I would worry about her worrying over me and we would be caught in a never ending cycle, the story of my life.**

~~~

"A thin line between love and hate ne?" I asked watching Inu-Yasha and Miss Kagome bicker on

"I'm growing tired of this conversation… come Houshi-sama we have to go cure your wounds…" she said also looking at the pair

I nodded, also delighted to get away from the everyday fight go on, Kami knows how jealous Inu-Yasha is of Kouga, and his or Miss Kagome's pride doesn't help very much, I gave a sigh, and noticed for the first time Sango's hand was over my back, her other arm was under my own. I smiled

"Sango… I'm really fine, really it's just a small cut." 

She looked up at me with a stubborn face "Houshi-sama you got cut from your elbow almost to your shoulder and, Yuromaru bit you didn't he?"

I winced, not a pleasant experience trying to be eaten by a humanoid youkai.

"And you have another slash on your left arm from when you… saved me." She finished looking down at the floor.

I tilted my head a bit trying to catch a glimpse of her face. She turned away, still I could see her reddened ears. Come to think of it… this girl hadn't left my side since we started the fight, I also seemed to find it quite comfortable being by her side when we fought, it gave me certain sense of security I'd never really experienced before. Kirara came running to her owner jumping up to Sango's chest. 

She caught the tiny feline and smiled. "Kirara, will you take us back to the village please?" she asked her pet.

Kirara responded by sniffing my left arm and looking up to me, then looking back to Sango with a curios meow. She then jumped down to the floor where she transformed into the real youkai she was. Sango jumped on her back with many years of experience and outstretched her arm for me. I took it, trying not it wince as she helped me up, Kirara lowered her back a bit, helping. 

"Arigatou," I said to both of them, 

I positioned my staff in front of Sango's stomach as usual putting up with the pain, as it really wasn't that big and injury. Well, I've had worse. We were about to take off when Kirara's ear twitched. She turned her massive head and waited.

"What is it Kirara?" asked Sango

From the bushes behind us I heard a small voice and recognised it immediately. 

"Oi! Wait for me!"

Shippou jumped out of the foliage and ran towards the three of us. He took a jump to land on Kirara's backside with a small bounce.

"Thanks… I don't wanna stay to watch Inu-Yasha get all mad and then Kagome having to sit him again…"

Sango giggled and I nodded at the kid. Kirara then took of gently into the night sky. The ride as always was pleasant. The breeze was fresh, and the moon was luminous even though only half of it was shining. It gave the night a majestic blue tone with stars shining all around it. 

It didn't take us too long to get to the village. Kaede wasn't too keen at being wakened up past midnight, but being the priestess she is offered to go get some water on Sango's request. 

"Sit down Houshi-sama, I'll be there in a minute." She told me stepping outside.

Shippou sat next to me followed by Kirara who had shrunk back to her chibi size. I looked around the cabin for a while still waiting for either Sango or Kaede, and started to get bored. Kirara was still sniffing at my shoulder.

"Does it hurt a lot?" 

I turned to Shippou's voice as his eyes lingered on my left arm. I looked down it as well to find it shaking lightly. I smiled down at the little fox.

"No… but it's been bleeding for a while now, that's why it shakes."

He nodded understanding "That's true… look at your sleeve, it's all brown and getting hard now."

"I'll just have to wash it tomorrow then."

"You will do no such thing…" interrupted her voice

I looked to the door where Sango stood now in her normal yukata along with Kaede who had returned with the water.

"Why did you change outside Sango? It's much warmer in here." I smiled up to her. 

Kaede gave a small sigh and Sango simply raised an eyebrow at me. "Thank you, but it's much better out side."

"What if you'd have caught a cold?" I continued

She sighed a little tired and went to sit beside me

Kaede interrupted my stream of witty comments "Houshi-dono, it would be much better if I brought you something else to wear, that way Sango or I can take care of your robes and have them ready by tomorrow." 

I bowed my head "Arigatou Kaede-sama"

"Shippou, would you accompany me to find a yukata for Houshi-dono?" she asked again leaving the water by Sango.

The kitsune nodded and leaped up from his place beside me "Come on Kirara…" he called

The kitten beast looked up at the sound of her name and then looked to her owner, Sango gave her a smile and that was all she needed to follow the little fox and the old lady out the straw door. Sango then went back to fixing up the supplies beside her taking a small white cloth and dipping it into the cold water. 

"Could you lift up your sleeve Houshi-sama?" she asked absentmindedly pressing the excessive water from the cloth.

I did as I was told lifting up my sleeves, a bit painfully as I had injuries on both arms. She looked up to my small complaints of pain and then set the cloth over the wooden bucket. 

"Here… let me do it." She offered rolling up the sleeves

As Shippou had said both of my sleeves were soaked in my own blood, the right one still wet, Sango pulled back stained red hands before she had a chance to finish.

"I think it would be easier if you just took of the top of your robes for now, cleaning your wounds would be useless if your sleeves just keep staining them again, and I can't seem to reach this one here." She pointed at the gash that went from the inside of my elbow to my upper shoulder. 

I simply nodded as she dipped her hands in the bucket tingeing the water a light pink colour. Shaking her hands slightly, getting off some water she then began to toy with the knot in my violet drape. After loosening it she threw it over my shoulder and then began to loosen my black robes. I couldn't help but smile.

"Ah Kami-sama… finally a beautiful young woman is stripping me naked." I said to the ceiling

Sango looked up at me with an eyebrow raised as a warning.

"Don't get any ideas Houshi-sama… I'm only repaying you for what you did for me back there…" 

I tilted my head and looked down at her "Repaying? For what?"

She looked down at my robes and helped me pull out both arms gently before she continued "For saving my life Houshi-sama…" she then bowed her head lower "Arigatou…"

I shook my head "Sango…" 

She looked up to me waiting for me to continue… how could I put this in words.

"You don't have to repay me for saving you… I don't expect anything in exchange for a human life, nothing is as valuable. I certainly didn't do it because it would benefit me, simply because you are my friend, some one I care about, and I would never give your life to anyone."

I noticed her cheeks begin to burn, but didn't say anything because it made her look absolutely adorable. The way here eyes got a bit glazed, the way the blood went from her cheeks pulling up to her nose, and the way her mouth seemed to shrink and pucker up. I blinked. What am I saying?

"A-Arigatou…" she said finally beginning to clean the slash on my left arm. I would have said something witty but I was still to fixed up about the fact that I had noticed so many details from her. Feh… I thought she was the one with the crush…

The wound on my left arm was deep but somewhat small, still I watched as she put some white medicine she had with her before she began to wrap it up. She then moved over to my right arm which was a bit more beaten up. Kaegeromaru's scythe had cut a vein on the inside of my elbow, explaining why I had bled so much. 

I noticed none of us were at all anxious to make eye contact with each other, but the silence was killing me, maybe I should say something stupid to lighten up the mood. She beat me to it.

"Still… look how injured you are."

My shoulders slumped, not exactly to lighten the mood eh? 

"I'm fine Sango… it really isn't that bad, and if it had to be you or me, I'd rather it be me."

She looked up to me and gave a small pout "You shouldn't say that Houshi-sama…"

"But it's true." I shrugged

"Don't think so little of yourself…" she said rinsing the cloth in the water, which had gone from a pale pink to a diluted crimson. "You are worth more than you think…"

I don't think she knew how I interpreted that, if she did, she would probably be blushing right now. Just my dumb hopes I suppose. No, it was all for the best, I hoped what she felt for me right now was just a mere infatuation, and I hoped what I felt for her was the same. Either way there wasn't much I could do about either. She finished applying the medication and then started to wrap it.  

Luckily for me, it didn't take her very long to finish… I was starting to think too much with all this silence. She tied the bandages ends together and gave a small smile of satisfaction. 

"There…" she said to me and smiled.

I nodded giving her my thanks to which she only smiled back, before something caught her attention, behind me, or so I thought. 

"What's that?" she asked herself I suppose as she didn't take her eyes of a particular spot where my neck and shoulder met. 

"Just a scratch…" I said looking down myself 

"A bleeding scratch…"

"You're not going to put some more bandages on me are you?" I accused

She smiled and dabbed the cloth in the water again rinsing it, then making her way behind me "It has blood and dirt on it Houshi-sama, I'm just going to clean it and p---"

Her voice suddenly began to slow and fade out as she moved behind me. "Sango?" I asked not knowing the particular reason

She didn't answer.

"Sango?" I said looking over my shoulder

She stood with an unreadable expression on her face, I honestly couldn't tell what she was thinking as she looked down at my back, I could take a guess. Even though I don't normally look at my back I know what it has that made Sango suddenly go so still. Still with my head turning towards her I smiled, then finally looked forward again and spoke.

"Daijoubu."

I barely heard her call out absentmindedly waking up from her trance, and even though I couldn't see her, I felt her eyes on me. She shuffled behind me and I felt the cool cloth come over my skin, sending a soft shiver up my neck. The light powder she had barely sprinkled the wound before she got up and made her way in front of me again, careful to keep her eyes down. 

She fixed up the supplies putting everything where it had to be and paused for a moment. I tried to catch a glimpse of her face again and smiled, she shouldn't feel sorry for me.

"They don't hurt anymore…" I comforted.

She seemed to find it hard deciding whether she should look up or just leave things the way they were… so I chose for her. She gave a small intake of air as her cheeks became rosy and her eyes widened in indignation. Followed by a light frustrated sigh and her teeth gritting together, not to mention that adorable little vein that popped up near her hairline.

My wrist continued it's movement even as she raised her fist in the air and stared coldly at me. I felt a drop of sweat make it's way down my face.

"You wouldn't hurt a man who's injured would you?" I tried 

Inu-Yasha and Kagome came in for the finale, a nice reddened cheek with Sango's hand print. Who would have thought such a small delicate hand could be so heavy? Kagome stared from an infuriated Sango who just sat there still glaring daggers at me, to my meek smiling self. Inu-Yasha rolled his eyes at me. 

"And Shippou says we should mature…" 

 ~~~

I felt her patch a soft gauze over my skin. Groping, unfortunately, was becoming less effective. I couldn't do a thing, Kami-sama knows I try, but I'm weak, and she's to strong… or stubborn one of both. Either way, every time I try to push her away, she comes right back, hurt. And then I feel really stupid knowing that that was the way things would turn out… why do you keep coming back to me Koishii… if all I do is hurt you?

~~~

"Houshi-sama?" 

I perked up at the sound of her voice, I was getting weaker by the day.

"What is it Sango?" I asked looking back to the lining of trees where she'd come from. 

She stepped closer, uncertainly, looking to me, then side to side. "We've decided to set camp near here, west in a small clearing in the forest… I just came to tell you… ano, were you meditating? Gomen if I interrupted anything…"

I smiled and shook my head "Iya… I was just thinking…"

She stood at a shy distance from me, probably feeling uncertain as of what to do now. 

"About what Houshi-sama?" she said finally making her way towards me.

I waited until she was sitting by my side to answer, I really shouldn't tell her the truth, but then again she is one of the few outlets I have at this point of my life, I shut my eyes then looked up at the fiery orange sky above us tainted with lavender clouds.

"About death…"

I felt her tense up beside me, yes, definitely should have lied.

"Doushite?" she asked quietly

"Why not? It seems to be the only thing I can think about these days, I have every reason too, we are all charging into an unknown battle with a powerful enemy we don't know if we'll be able to beat, the pain in my hand increases by the day and all the while time keeps running too quickly for me."

Well this was uncomfortable, I knew she was searching her mind for something to say to me, probably not understanding what I was going through but trying hard to. I smiled at my stupidity, now she was probably feeling sorry for me, one more thing for her to worry about. I gave a silent sigh and turned to apologise. Before she took my right hand in both hers. 

"Does it hurt very much?" she asked not looking up to me

I looked down at her with mild shock, feeling her fingers trace over the prayer beads, up the arm guard passing my knuckles and down my own fingers. It was until she stopped this I seemed to wake up from a trance and realized she had asked me a question. I opened my mouth but words never came as her eyes locked with mine, her gaze so serious and determined. 

"I won't let you die Houshi-sama…" 

I could do nothing as those eyes penetrated into me, so strong, with so much beauty. Like many other times I couldn't help but want to reach out and cup her face in my hands, wanting desperately to hold her, to love her for the wonderful person that she was… and yet. 

Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned a pale pink colour. I couldn't let that happen… I wouldn't, I had made a promise to myself, and to tou-san… I had sworn. Never to let myself love anybody. Her brows dropped and she removed her hands from mine. I braced myself knowing what was coming next after having had my free hand do what it had to.

I'm pretty sure birds were woken up by the impact, she stood up angrily and walked away fists clenched. Muttering soft curses. I felt relived, my wall was back up, I smiled sadly placing a hand over my cheek, I'd rather she be angry at me than in love with me… I smiled bitterly, what kind of a twisted idiot was I?

~~~

**I looked down at the wooden floor beneath me as I felt the bandages go around my shoulders. One of the many, many times it had been a close call. Only once had I wanted nothing more to take back what I had said than a few weeks ago, I didn't just 'put my wall up' but somewhere along the way had hurt her deeply. **

~~~

"Mou! Honestly Miroku-sama! I'm getting embarrassed just being around you, do you really have to ask every woman who steps in front of you to bear your child? Really! I mean, have you seen the way they look at us? Must think we're your hoe's or something…"

"What's a hoe?" asked Inu-Yasha

Kagome turned pink "Never mind…" 

I looked over the horizon to the setting sun and then to an inn just ahead, since this town was one of the smallest I've seen I figured we really couldn't find anything better. I cleared my throat already approaching the door.        

"Houshi-sama…" said Sango eyeing me "We have enough money to pay… and we will." She warned

"But it would be so easy."

"Houshi-sama! For what they would charge us for a place like this, it's probably very cheap and besides it's not like we use the money for anything other than food."

"Yes but we could… you never know when one might need financial aid."

We walked into the small inn still arguing. The keeper, or the person attending looked at us strangely before giving a small smile and greeting us.

"Konbanwa, would you like a room for two?" she asked

Sango turned cherry. I smirked "Why yes… one bed please, but make it rather large as I am quite unpredictable…"

Kagome, Shippou and Inu-Yasha walked in for this statement, and to see Hiraikotsu bashed against my head. "Two rooms with separate beds please." Corrected Sango

The attendant looked warily at us, staring first at Hiraikotsu still over my head, then at Kagome's skirt, and then at Inu-Yasha's ears. "Um… hai, the two at the end of the hall way" she pointed

Until now after the lump in my head began to die down I noticed she wasn't all that ugly, black eyes and tan skin with shoulder length hair… she would do.

"Thank you for your hospitality Miss." I said taking her hands in mine, everyone's reaction was the same as always. Kagome and Shippou pretending not to know me, Inu-Yasha, bored and impatient, and Sango with that slight twitch in her eye. "Such a virtue is politeness… and I ask as well mannered as I can…"

She looked up at me with a small bead of sweat on her forehead. "Um… what?"

"Would you please bear my child?"

"Eh??" the neck of her yukata slid down her shoulder as she simply stared at me, face faulted. 

Sango was about to explode on me again when the young Lady spoke again

"Don't you think your wife will get mad if you flirt with me… or… propose to me to be the mother of your children?" she asked

Sango froze, mouth open and I simply looked up the young lady. Then laughed "Iya!"

"Oi!! I- I'm not his wife! You think I would marry a lecherous Houshi like him?!" she said banging her fist against the counter.

I released the young woman's hands and rubbed the back of my neck "Oh I do love Sango…" I felt the room tense up and quickly finished my intentional sentence  "But only her body.…" 

… chi-kuso… 

Only two seconds after I had said it had I realized what an idiotic thing I had done… Everyone in the room became silent and I could see faces of shock from Miss Kagome, Shippou, and even Inu-Yasha was looking at me knowing I had done something really stupid. Sango's frown disappeared and she looked as though someone had just slapped her.. she did nothing but stare up at me. I couldn't face her, but instead tried to fix what I'd done.

I was about to open my mouth when I suddenly found it was too full of wood to talk, actually my whole face was nicely embedded at the inn's floor. 

"Sango-chan! Matte!" said Kagome running behind her. 

The inn keeper stared down at me, I felt uneasy at the glare she was giving me "That was mean… " she retrieved two extra blankets from the counter and let them drop onto my back. The turned to leave. I gave a sigh of resignation and lifted myself from the floor, then turned to look at Inu-Yasha. He hit me on the top of the head.

"You're an idiot do you know that?" he said neutrally. Shippou looked from me to him, to the now forming lump on my head. 

"Hai. But in a way it had to be done…"

He lifted an eyebrow "What ever… I'm not the one with his face getting slammed into the floor,"

"This time…" I interrupted. 

He growled at me but continued "Are you going to talk to her?"

I shook my head not wanting to face him. "For now… it's better this way, I can't give in… for her sake."

Inu-Yasha grunted and made his way to the second dormitory with Shippou still on his shoulder "She'll hold out longer than you… or at least you'd damn well better hope she does. But do what you want…"

'Do what I want?' I asked myself looking at his back. if I did what I wanted I would be in there right now talking to her with her in my arms explaining and apologising for this and everything else I had ever done to hurt her, I would be in there and never leave her side again wanting nobody but her, dammit if I were with her I'd live in monogamy! That's how much I loved her and what I wanted… was for her to know it, was for me to express it, to make it real.

But I couldn't _do what I wanted_ now could I? Everything that would make me happy would probably make her smile for a while, before I ended up killing her… in one way or another. 

~~~

**That's what would await us if we ever dared to make this more than a friendship. Death and pain. Barely noticing there was no more movement on my back I looked up. Sango had stopped working for a while now, I had been too deep in my thoughts to notice. **

**"Sango…?" I asked  **

**I stiffened as I felt her bangs push down against the bare skin of my back followed by the side of her face. My heart began to pump faster and harder and I tried to calm down, knowing that she could probably hear it. What was she doing?**

**"Sango--?" I began before her voice cut me off, in barely more than a whisper.**

**"Do you ever… get tired of it?"**

**I sat in silence with her weight on my back for a minute, trying to figure out what she was saying before she spoke again.**

**"I'm so sick of it all…"**

**I did or said nothing. **

**"Miroku… I have something I have to tell you…"**

**I turned my head, surprised enough that she had used my name, but thinking as to what she would tell me. I felt her weight come off my back and heard her get up. She came around and sat in front of me, looking me in the eye with pink cheeks.**

**"I…" she looked down and fisted her hands over her lap. Then taking a deep breath looked up at me determinedly and spoke "Miroku I---"**

**Two of my fingers suddenly came over her lips, she looked up at me with question in her eyes and I could only greet her with sad eyes.**

**"Please don't…" I begged**

**She looked up at me confused, and a bit hurt I could see, yet taking her hand to mine pulled it down into both of hers and continued.**

**"Enough Miroku… I don't want to do this anymore…"**

**"Do what?" I knew perfectly well what she was talking about but I guess I just wanted a way out, what would I do when she told me?**

**"Pretend…" she answered solemnly she took in a short breath and finally said what she wanted "You know I have deep feelings for you…"**

**I sighed and looked down to my lap "You shouldn't… you know that…"**

**"But I do… and I think you do as well." She blushed and looked down at her lap "I'm sorry, but it's eating me alive and I can't take it anymore."**

**"No…" I interrupted**

**She paid no heed "I know that you knew, and I'm tired of denying it, I just don't see the point anymore. I'm not going to hold back on what I feel and you shouldn't either."**

**"Dame Sango."**

**"It's just stupid to do what we're doing… and… I already opened my heart ,so you should do something about it! You don't have to keep doing this to yourself Miro--" **

**"I don't want to love you!"**

**I watched her shocked face pull back with a silent gasp, a bit surprised at my sudden outburst as well. I never thought I would be able to speak such a lie. And justified myself as having done it for her own good. What nonsense.**

**Never could I have imagined that I could see some one's heart break before me. But I saw it… I saw everything through her eyes. The shock, the anguish, and all the pain. I couldn't look away… it was hurting me so much to see her like this, but I couldn't look away.**

**Instead it was her who broke eye contact. Staring down at nothing, **

**"S-Sou ne… I'm sorry then… Will you forgive my emotions?"**

**I couldn't breath properly, much less speak. 'Forgive her emotions?' she forced a smile on her lips, I could see tears beginning to brim in her closed eyes**

**"Daijoubu… thank you for being honest Houshi-sama… sumi-masen…" she went back to calling me Houshi-sama**

**Head still low, she stood up and made her way out of the small hut. I got up quickly and went after her. Outside water was pouring from the sky. I caught her a few feet from the hut, holding her small wrist in my hand. She stopped, not looking back at me. I knew I had to say something, but I wasn't sure what, or even if I should. I felt her try to twist out of my grasp but held her tighter. **

**"You're going to catch a cold like that"  she said in a cracked voice.**

**Having noticed I still hadn't placed the top of my robes on, I felt her soft voice tear up my heart. Even in such a situation with her heart shattered she still worried about me? I hardly noticed her hand move in mine before she pulled it quickly out of my own and ran into the forest.**

**"Sango!" I called after her. **

**This wasn't right, everything was supposed to be easier if there was no love between us. Then… why did it hurt so much? I looked down, because there was. feeling the rain beat over my back I glanced up at the dark sky, She would be fine… and I knew she would be back here by tomorrow. Giving a deep sigh I made my way into the cabin. **

**Miss Kagome was standing in the middle of the room , with a very serious expression. I chose this time to place my robes carefully back over my shoulders.**

**"How could you?" she said**

**I looked up to find her face full of anger. "How could you have lied to her like that?" she asked again**

**"This is something between her and me. Please don't get involved as it doesn't concern you." I said not really wanting to talk about it**

**"Sango's my friend Miroku it damn well concerns me when she ran out crying because of the crap you told her." She scowled back at me.**

**I looked down at the tatami mat. "It's better that I hurt her now and her love for me dies… better than suffering far more in the future." I spoke**

**What ever I expected from Kagome it definitely wasn't this. Shippou in the corner with Kirara winced at crack of the skin of her hand against my face. After the initial shock came the wave of pain. I straitened my neck and found Kagome looking up to me with something that could he hatred, her hand still over her shoulder from the momentum.   **

**"She can't possibly be hurting more than now Miroku. She gave you her heart and you crushed it with your own hands! The girl was in love for the first time, it took her for ever to give you her heart because she was scared, just like you, only she got over the fear, and risked it just for you. She gave you her everything, and you threw it aside as if it were nothing. You don't deserve her feelings, and you had no right to do what you did, as she doesn't deserve this pain. All because of what? Because it's good for her? All you're doing is trying not to get hurt yourself, you're worried about how you would feel if you ever lost her. But love isn't' just about one person, there's someone else with you!"**

**I could do nothing as she took in a few deep breaths trying to control herself. I could see tears at the corners of her eyes and knew she was in some way also referring to her own situation. **

**"I know what it's like Miroku, it hurts, only in my case, he was truly honest. he did what his heart told him to. He didn't lie or want to hurt me. But you… How dare you hurt Sango in such a cruel way! Are you just stupid?! Do you think love just dies or vanishes that easily? Do you really think if you keep hurting her she'll turn away from you? All you'll do is scar her heart even more than it already is! But no matter how stupid or insensitive you are to her she'll still love you! Don't you get it? She can't do anything about her feelings, and neither can you! You should just stop being the coward that you are and free your heart from whatever sick prison you have it in! take the chance you have, you don't know how many people would long for a corresponded love Miroku. You'd be a very selfish person if you waste it."**

***

A.N: ugh! Mush… anywho, the only scene I did take from the series is here in this chapter, well not to mention the ending when Inu-Yasha picked Kikiyo over Kagome (WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?!?!?) but the episode where those two really weird freaks made by Naraku appear, the brothers, one mute and the other looking like that little Alien from who knows what movie who eats people's insides. I took the quotes from what Sango and Miroku say here in Mexico… don't know if it's literally dubbed but it doesn't sound too bad.

I reposted ch 1 since the web site I told you about didn't appear and it had some other errors, but nothing's really different.    


	3. I'll Wait

A.N: the last stretch, don't worry this one's really short.

***

**He ran through the forest feeling the drops of rain sting his eyes as he searched. But he didn't care, he had to find her, he had to fix this. **

**"Sango!" he called again, remembering Inu-Yasha's warning.**

~ "Miroku…" he had called to him when he stepped out of the house. Turning at his name he looked back at Inu-Yasha resting on the porch protected from the rain, he looked to Miroku with serious eyes "If it were that easy to stop loving a person… I would have done it already… she doesn't deserve that kind of pain, especially coming from an ahou like you… if anything happens to her or you hurt her again, I'll make you regret it." ~

**Over these past months he had noticed a special bond between Sango and Inu-Yasha, actually since they met, Sango had taken up Inu-Yasha as her younger brother, and Inu-Yasha without noticing, had accepted also with the responsibility of Sango on his shoulders, both cared for each other deeply, and as Miss Kagome was the best friend she never had, she considered Inu-Yasha and Shippou as brothers she should always look after. **

**As for him, the only word that came to his mind right now was coward, that's what he was to her and himself, she had already let her feelings show to everyone in the group except him, and when she finally had the courage to show him love, he went and did something as stupid as lie to her to reject them. For what? For his own selfish heart. He couldn't do this to her, love her and not let her love him back, after all Miss Kagome had said it, Love isn't just about one person.**

**Between the darkness of night and the deep rain, he was surprised when he spotted a patch of white and pink among the trees. There she was sitting with her back to an old tree, arms holding her knees to her chest. Cautiously he stepped forward. A few feet away he felt his heart shatter hearing her, she was sobbing silently, her small back shaking and inhaling every once in a while, looking up apparently at nothing, letting her tears fall freely off her smooth cheeks. The rain water wasn't helping much either. **

**"Stop… onegai…" he begged silently**

**She gasped looking over at him. He wished she hadn't, pain was etched all over her face. She turned away from him and wiped her eyes with her palm roughly. **

**"Please Leave Houshi-sama…" she choked out**

**Miroku swallowed hard and made himself walk towards her, then sat down beside her. It took him a while before he was actually able to get some words out of his mouth.**

**"I'm sorry…"**

**She turned away from him somewhat embarrassed at the condition she was in, but spoke her mind anyhow "Those are just two words Houshi-sama."**

**She had him there, they were only two words, but "They have a meaning Sango…"**

**"And do you mean it?"**

**He said nothing, of course he meant it, it was his fault she was here right now, like this. Yet he couldn't bring himself to speak, his throat had shut tight again.**

**"Why are you here Houshi-sama?" she asked**

**He looked over at her, her eyes hidden under wet bangs starting to stick to her face. Why was he here? He was worried for her, he needed to explain, and then what? Confess? **

**He sighed thinking he had better do one thing at a time. He didn't actually know how to start. But finally he decided to tell her everything, including the most strongest reason of his rejection.**

**Sango heard him give a deep sigh before finally turning away from her and beginning to speak.**

**"When I was nine… my father died." he started "I watched him get sucked into his own kazaana. Not one of my better memories…" Sango remained quiet and made no intention of interrupting, a bit curios as to where this conversation was going. He continued.**

**"A few months before that… I found him in his room, meditating, I didn't want to interrupt so I was about to leave, when he called me back." **

~~~

"Miroku…" 

a nine year old child by the door paused at the sound of his name and turned back

"Nani tou-san?"

"Come here... I would like to talk to you."

Miroku did as he was told and entered the room sitting beside his father, staring ahead at nothing in particular.

"Miroku… you know I don't have much time left."

The small boy frowned and began to fidget with his hands, his father was always talking about death… he didn't like it. 

"Un…" was all he answered

"Do you still plan to find a way to eradicate this curse from our bloodline?"

"Un…"

The elder man smiled and looked down at the child beside him "You are a strong boy Miroku, and I believe in your future skills. I know your will to live and courage are the elements that will help you fulfil your goal. It's too late for me to do much, but you are young and determined, I'm sure what you want you will achieve, and I will be by your side every step of the way."

Miroku looked down at his sweating hands and simply nodded. His father continued

"I know Moushin has been filling your head with stupid ideas about an heir. I'm not saying you shouldn't have children… but listen carefully."

His father's large hand landed on his small shoulder and Miroku looked up at the man's ebony eyes.

"This curse that we have, not only affects us, but the people who are closest to us as well. Try not to tie strong bonds with people you care about, or that care about you. And if when you find the woman you love, you still have this curse in your right hand," his father took a pause making sure Miroku was listening carefully to him, the boy looked up at his father and waited for him to continue. He hoped he would understand. 

"Don't let her love you back." he finished. Miroku blinked up at his father 

"Staying away from that person is the best you will be able to do for her."

Miroku looked up at his father with big curios eyes "But tou-san… I hate girls…" 

His father beside him could do nothing but chuckle at his son's innocence. He nodded at the boy and ruffled his hair.

"All right… but in the very unlikely case that you one day will grow to like girls, do you promise to protect the one you like the most from your curse?" he asked the boy

"Sure tou-san, but don't worry, I'll never like anybody. Besides, girls hate me too."

His father lifted an eye brow "We'll see how long that lasts…"

~~~

**Sango listened carefully to his story while watching drops of rain fall over his face. She knew his reasons, wanting to protect her, but he could only go so far before she thought he started being selfish. In a way he still was, and she understood as she wouldn't like to loose him either, yet even knowing she could, had accepted her feelings. Only up until now did she know there was more to all of this than just _his_ reasons. His father had suffered for a loved one as well, and had warned Miroku simply wanting the best for his son and the woman he would one day love. Somehow she felt honored, even though it had been in very indirect way, but Miroku's father cared for her.**

**"So you see… I really don't know what to do anymore." Continued Miroku "On one side I have my father's promise, knowing it's true, not wanting to hurt you, and on the other are my emotions that won't stay locked inside me, your need to be loved and current anguish because of my stupid lack of decision on a choice as big as this one."**

**Sango looked up at him and all he did was sigh "I only wanted the best for you…  to be happy… and I couldn't even do that…" **

**Sango wiped a few remaining tears mixed with rain from her face then scooted over to Miroku. **

**"Tell me what he was like… your father…"**

**Miroku looked down at her not really expecting this reaction from her, but at least she wasn't crying anymore.**

**"He was a wonderful person. A bit quiet but always smiling. He had a very deep sense of righteousness and raised me the same way he was raised, as he never had a mother either. He was the one who told me everything about the kazaana, explaining it so that I could understand. Sometimes he would even apologise for it, but I told him I never blamed him. Always on my birthday I would stay up at night, every year the curse grows along with my hand, but since it's only once a year, it hurts quite a bit. He would always accompany me when this happened, telling my stories about kaa-san till the pain died down. **

**He told me he had known her since they were children, and that he had known she had feelings for him, but frankly didn't think much of them. He took her for granted. Until one day she told him she was leaving the village were they had grown up in. The thought scared my father to no end, but because of his pride, he didn't stop her or even say goodbye, that was before he got some sense knocked into him by Moushin. So se went after her finally realising he also had deep feelings for her. They got married and then had me…"**

**Finally looking up from the constant drip of the rain water from her sleeve, she focused on Miroku's face. He looked like he was trying to decide whether to continue or not. Liking the moment they were sharing she didn't know whether to encourage him to go on, or just wait and not push him to do anything he didn't want to. He didn't give her enough time to decide as he finally continued with a smile.     **

**"Tou-san would stare at me sometimes, look at me for hours, saying that I looked just like her. He says she had the most beautiful lavender eyes, since my father had them black, I came out with something like deep violet... When she was pregnant, she told my father to take good care of me… it was as if, she knew she was going to…" **

**Sango watched him pause trying to continue, his eyes hidden under wet bangs, he smiled, but didn't continue. She looked down at the forest floor, he had never talked about his past before, since hers had been such a happy one she assumed every one else's had as well. But his history was so deep and marked, by many things that explained a lot of who he was now. Everything was starting to clear up. And she was very thankful for the trust he had shown her by having have told her all of this. She smiled to herself.**

**"Indigo…" she spoke**

**"Hmm?" he looked over at her to find her fiddling with a damp leaf in her fingers.**

**She let it fall to the muddy floor before looking up to him with a smile. "Your eyes are indigo."**

**He tried his best to catch the meaning of her sentence and observation, but obviously she wasn't waiting for an answer as she edged her way over to the monk so that her hips were against his side. Giving a quiet sigh she set her head over his shoulder.**

**"I owe you an apology…" she spoke suddenly**

**Now by this he was surprised, wasn't it the other way around? **

**"You were afraid to love…" she continued **

**Miroku looked down at her head resting over his shoulder and felt his skin vibrate every time he heard her voice.**

**"And I wanted to pull you into it in one giant leap…" her hand found it's way over to his and she began to toy with his fingers**

**"Gomen nasai Miroku… I didn't consider your feelings."**

**"Sango…" Miroku began shaking his head**

**"Demo…" she continued, smiling fondly intertwining her fingers in his, the last traces of her tears being washed away by the warm summer rain.   **

**"I'll be willing to wait for eternity … for the day when you are ready to give me your heart…" **

**~*°*~**

A.N: *sigh* too much fluff *pulls some out of her ear* … gotta write something funny before it gets to me! Anywho, about Miroku's father I have no idea how the man really was, but since in one ep. of the series Miroku says he got all his bad habits from Moushin I'd like to assume his father was all nice and kawaii and sweet and… stuff. ¬¬ Oi! Let me dream!!

Well minna, that's it for now, I really hope you enjoyed reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you so much for hanging in there!

PS: here are some jap terms I used in the fic so you won't get confused

Demo: but

Kaa-san/haha-ue: mother

Tou-san/chichi-ue: father

Gomen nasai: I'm sorry

Mou/Feh: geez

Sou ka?/Hontou: really? Or is that so?

Kazaana: the curse Miroku has in his hand 'Air Rip'

Nani: what?

Un/Aa/Hai: yes

Ahou/baka: idiot 

Houshi: priest 

Dame/Yamete: stop

Kami-sama: God

Koishii: dear one, darling, loved one or something like that

Arigatou: thank you

Onegai: please

Matte: wait (not sure I used these last two, but oh well!)

Chibi: small (although the correct term is chisai)

Daijoubu: It's ok. 

Doushite: why 

Konbanwa: good evening

Iya: no

Chi-kuso: dammit

Sumi-masen: sorry, excuse me.

Tatami: a mat made of straw

Oyasumi-nasai: Good night

Youkai: ghost or monster

Hentai: pervert

Yukata: a robe like Sango's pink one or um… well she's the only one. 

Abunai: danger, watch it.

Ja: bye!

Ano: um… uh. 

That's all I could find, maybe I missed some, but oh well, don't forget to review!!!

¬¬ hmmmmmmmmm well Oki, since this one was a little short and I desperately need something comical running trough my system here's a mini epilogue… 

~~°*°~~

**Of course they had seen everything. For one, Inu-Yasha really was worried about what this baka could do to Sango, and besides. Kagome wanted to go.  A few minutes after Miroku left Kagome came out of the cabin with that pink round thing she called umbrella. She stepped down off the porch and then stopped, looking back at Inu-Yasha.**

**"Well?! What are you waiting for?" she called back to him.**

**A tiny bead of sweat appeared on his forehead. He was about to feign innocence but that would only get him a knowing glare.  So instead he followed her through the forest as always lifting her on his back and following their scent. Even though he would never admit it, he was always very comfortable with Kagome on his back, because he knew that with him, she was safe. But like hell he would ever tell that to anybody. **

**It wasn't long before they caught up to them. Both were sitting with their backs to an old tree. Inu-Yasha pounced up to one of it's branches for better hearing. Miroku was of course talking, but he wasn't exactly apologising. **

**"I can't hear anything!" complained Kagome from his back.**

**"Feh! Don't be so loud, they'll hear us!"**

**"Get closer! He's gotta be saying something cute! Look Sango just scooted over to him!"**

**"Calm down woman!"**

**"Look at that branch down there jump there!"**

**"Dammit you're gonna throw us off the tree!"**

**"But I can't hear anything!"**

**"He said something about his dad protecting Sango and she said something about indigo eyes and the apologised."**

**"What?! That doesn't make any sense!"**

**"Shh!" said Inu-Yasha twitching his ears**

**"What's Sango saying? Look!!! They're holding hands!"**

**"She says she'll be waiting for his heart." Repeated Inu-Yasha **

**Kagome looked down at Sango's head resting on Miroku's chest and at the Houshi's face of mild surprise. **

**"Kawaii!" squealed Kagome as Miroku set his chin over Sango's hair. "What's he saying now Inu-Yasha?"**

**"Arigatou Sango." He repeated the monk's words.**

**He heard Kagome do something like squeal over him and then pound her small fists against his back "Kyaaaaaa!!!"**

**"And why the hell are you hitting me for?!"**

**"Ohhhhh! Does that mean they've finally settled this mess?"**

**"It was about damn time if you ask me."**

**Kagome sighed into his damp hair and set her chin lazily over his shoulder. Inu-Yasha stiffened, she didn't need to know that this movement sent shivers up his back and made his face go red. She was too busy watching Miroku set his arm over Sango's shoulders. **

**Inu-Yasha coughed "Um… maybe we should go, it's late and you're getting wet. **

**Kagome barely nodded and then shot up "Wait! What about Sango and Miroku? They're drenched."**

**"I don't really think they give a damn."**

**"But they'll get sick."**

**"They won't get sick, it's warm outside."**

**"Yeah but do they plan to stay here all night?"**

**"Who cares?! Let's just go! I think Miroku already knows we're here." Said Inu-Yasha nervously looking down.**

**"We should leave them the umbrella up here so that it covers them without them knowing!"**

**between the bickering and the dumb suggestions, neither realized the drenched branch they were on begin to creak.**

**"Fine, just put it up there and let's leave."**

**"But you'll have to come back in the morning, and what if they decide to go back to the cabin? Then maybe a bird might take it away and it the last one I have left! Or what if---"**

**"What's that?" interrupted Inu-Yasha a tad bit late**

**the branch snapped in half. Either the rain made him slower, or Kagome's never ending rantings had gotten to him, but he didn't quite have time to react. Kagome screamed falling through the air. A bead of sweat appeared on Miroku's forehead as Sango looked up.**

**"You might want to tuck your feet in." he said to Sango.**

**She obeyed glad that she had listened without asking questions when a blob of red, green and white came crashing to the ground where her toes had just been.**

**Inu-Yasha groaned painfully as his face was buried in the mud by Kagome's ass. She opened her eyes after the impact and looked up to a glaring Miroku and a very confused Sango still in each other's arms. A big bead of sweat could be seen on Kagome's face.**

**"A-ano…" she stuttered looking from side to side trying to make up a good lie, er, reason for them being her.**

**"We brought you an umbrella!" she yelled suddenly seeing the pink plastic float down to them. "So you wouldn't get wet." She smiled insecurely.**

**The soaked couple simply stared at her, eyebrows lifted.**

**"No?" she tried "Oki, then." She searched her mind for something else. Nothing came.**

**"Ja!" she jumped up and grabbed Inu-Yasha by the hair speeding away in the horizon leaving behind a cloud of dust.**

**Sango and Miroku stared with beads of sweat running down their faces. **

**"How… can she pick up a cloud of dust if it's all mud?" asked Sango truly intrigued **

**"I _don't_ know…" said Miroku shaking his head. **

**Sango's back snapped up strait and her brows furrowed "You know…" she started closing her eyes with a small vein already appearing on her forehead.**

**"I'm still not to fond of that…" she glared at him  "wandering hand of yours."**

**"It has a mind of it's own!" he shrugged then smiled and looked up to her with puppy eyes "Onegai… this one for old times sake?" he said, hand still roaming around her ass**

**Sango smiled.**

**Miroku with a sweat drop over his head, which was now buried a foot in the mud with Sango's elbow over it still smiling pleasantly. **

**"Ok…" she continued to smile.**

Miroku smiled nervously and pulled his head out of the floor "You do know of course… I was just talking about the groping part."

**Her smirk turned into a genuine smile as she pulled out the white piece of cloth she used on her arm guard and set it over his face, wiping off the mud.**

**"My sweet baka Houshi…" **

~~~*°*~~~

Ok… NOW I'm done! Tee hee!

Was it a good ending? Sucky ending? Not an ending at all?? Either way… Thank you so much every one!! For reading, especially my reviewers! Till next time minna…… because there damn well will be a friggin next time!!

I'll be bak… (¬¬' ok I'll go before I get even more lame……) 


End file.
